The term “pickup artist” has become popular on the Internet in recent years, following the success of programs like those written by Erik von Markovic, a.k.a. Mystery.
He was, perhaps, the first person to write a system which was specifically intended to enable men to pick up women or get them into bed.
His techniques are those of distraction, manipulation, misdirection, and – some would say – downright deception. From his origins as a stage magician, he appears to have put together a set of techniques which allowed him to bill himself “the world’s greatest pickup artist”.
What these techniques actually consist of only became clear when Neil Strauss studied his methods and wrote about them in a book called “The Game”. In this book Strauss describes a great deal about pickup artists and the so-called seduction community, none of whom, I think it is fair to say, come off as shining examples of masculinity or manhood.
In my opinion, their techniques are all about manipulation of women, using tricks and gambits which verge on the misogynistic, and seem to reflect, if not a hatred of women, maybe anger towards them – or at the very least a kind of contempt.
Why, for example, would a system which was supposed to be about engaging with women in a genuine attempt to establish a relationship, refer to women who get in the way of the pickup artist’s “target” as “a bitch shield”, and why would one of the most popular techniques employed by the so-called pickup artists be “negging”?
(This refers to a technique of destroying woman’s confidence by giving her what appears to be a compliment but in actual fact is a slight, so that you then have some kind of psychological advantage over her and she is “in your power”.)
None of this is particularly decent or honorable, and it doesn’t reflect well on many of the people who use these techniques, in my opinion. Where the Tao Of Badass differs is that it’s based on genuine psychology (rather than cod psychology), and the psychology is employed respectfully and decently.
For example, you can analyze not only the psychology of women, but also your own psychology, so that you know where your weaknesses and strengths lie when it comes to meeting women.
In other words, The Tao Of Badass has a quality of genuineness about it, which other programs noticeably lack.
For this reason, and this reason alone, Badass is the only program which I can recommend to men who actually want to establish relationships with women and lack confidence.
For make no mistake about it, these programs are all about confidence. If you don’t have the confidence to approach women and strike up a conversation with them, or you don’t believe that you’re interesting or significant enough for a woman to want to have a conversation with you, no wonder that you might feel tempted to resort to tools and techniques employed by a stage magician.
That deception won’t get you very far in a relationship: as Neil Strauss found after several months in the “pickup community”, many of these individuals appear more like scared little boys than masculine men, and they appear to want to spend more of their time discussing strategies and techniques with each other than actually getting out there and establishing a genuine relationship with a woman.
All this says to me is that many of these pick up “gurus” are highly conflicted about their desire for sex and/or a relationship and the need to find some way of bolstering their confidence and being able to approach women.
The interesting thing, of course, is that the pick up artist’s viewpoint is entirely dominated by a male perspective that says the man is the one who initiates, controls and leads the relationship.
It doesn’t take any account whatsoever of the fact that women are just as insecure and lacking in confidence as men when it comes to relationships.
To sum this up, I think what’s needed is a boost to masculinity, so that men are more confident in their male power and don’t feel inadequate when it comes to meeting women.
What you need to do is change your own masculine behavior from the inside, not using external tricks and techniques to fool people (women) into thinking that you’re something you’re not…
However, having said that, as I observed above, the only program that I can recommend for helping men to gain confidence with women is The Tao Of Badass, and that’s simply because it is written by an honorable man from a genuine perspective of helping men to fulfill their potential.
That is to say, compared to other programs like The Mystery Method, which is about manipulating women into thinking that you’re something you’re not — and you know what happens when you lead somebody astray in that way … sooner or later the whole construct comes crashing down on your head, when they realize your’re false and inauthentic.
I would suggest if you want to know more about the false techniques and deceptions of the pickup artists, and the kind of individuals who inhabit that world, you read Neil Strauss’s book The Game. This is a detailed account of how he spent several months living in close proximity to Mr Mystery and various other pickup artists, learning the techniques and writing about them in a book that became a massive bestseller and promoted Mystery to fame on American TV.
It’s hard to know quite what to make of some of the things that happened as described in the book, but as I’ve observed elsewhere, I’m pretty certain that the majority of things that Neil Strauss was able to do after taking PUA training were not due to that training: I think they were due to the fact that he made a clear decision to change his life, and he used the techniques that have been known to people throughout history to do so.
Those techniques include goalsetting, clear visualization of objectives, and taking action in a unified, clear and direct way with a focus on achieving a desired outcome.
What I especially like about the Tao Of Badass is that it fits so well with that general approach to life and relationships. If you’re clear that you want a relationship, or you want a series of one night stands, or anything in between, then setting that as an objective is definitely your first step. The techniques that are explained in “The Tao” can help you to do that: they’re not manipulative, they’re not deceptive, in fact they are all about personal psychology and self-improvement. Buy it, that’s my advice.