The Importance Of Confidence
As I already said, all women are different in some ways, but what they all want and find attractive in a man is actually pretty similar.
To start with, they all want a man who’s confident.
And the interesting thing is, men who are confident appeal to women, regardless of how physically attractive they are.
You’ve seen this yourself, many times, as in: “What’s she doing with that douchebag!!!? Answer – she’s with him because he’s being CONFIDENT. He’s being MASCULINE.)
Get this: men don’t have to be attractive to be confident. They just need to be confident to be attractive. To get a woman you just need to be confident. Or believe you are confident. Or, at the very least, to act as if you are confident – until you really are confident.
I know how true this is. When I was a psychology researcher I did a project on attraction.
What did I find? In a nutshell: men who say they’re confident, and men who believe they’re confident are 75% more likely to be a satisfying long-term relationship.
By the way, you’ve probably seen certain men with beautiful women and wondered “how on earth did they get together?”
If you assumed the answer is probably something to do with money, forget it. No! It’s to do with confidence.
And confidence does not have to depend on money.
Whether you’re confident or not depends mostly on what you believe about yourself. So again, changing those beliefs will change how confident you feel.
But it does more than that: it changes how confident you look, the way you behave, the emotions you feel, and most of all it changes your body language. And that’s what a woman picks up on.
99% of the time the truth will leak out in the way you hold yourself, the way you look at people, the way you speak to people.
I mean, you know that’s true from your own experience. When your beliefs about yourself are positive, you feel good about yourself and all that stuff shows in your body language. You stand up straight, you smile, you look at girls with strong eye contact, and they know you’re powerful and attractive.
You’re naturally displaying all the qualities that women are attracted to.
Often women will watch a man for some time to see how he reacts to situations where, for example, he might be challenged.
By watching his body language she will know how confident he is, and what beliefs he holds about himself.
This may make women sound a bit manipulative, but you need to understand that it’s all automatic and unconscious. It’s not done in a manipulative or calculating way – it’s just how things are. It’s one of the ways the female gender role plays out.
And anyway, if you think about it, it’s actually very similar to many of the things you do when you look at a woman: you make judgments about her, and her sexuality, and how you and she might fit together, on the basis of what you see.
So once again it looks like you have to change those beliefs about yourself.
You can’t really do this without help.
So many men think they’re stuck with old beliefs, and yet they can be changed.
And if your beliefs can be changed – then you can change. That’s simple and incredibly profound.
The steps of changing your beliefs are: challenging the old one, accepting a new one, proclaiming the new one, checking out how it works (getting feedback), adapting as necessary, and finally accepting that belief as fact.
In fact, being aware that you can control your value just by believing that you are attractive is such a powerful concept that this alone will give you massive amounts of success very quickly.
Speak The Truth!
There many ways that we try and increase our sense of self-worth: it ranges from buying presents and drinks for people (and this can be a way of begging for approval), through making yourself feel better by putting others down and competing with them, all the way to just simply knowing that you’re so worthwhile and confident that you can cooperate with others. To constantly make people feel good, always have nice things to say about people, and focus on bringing out the positive aspects of others is a quality that women find completely, irresistibly attractive in men.
How Does Attraction Really Work?
Phrases like “getting laid” – even the idea of “falling in love” – all imply that the occurrence was an accident.
The truth? You CREATE success with women. You don’t “get lucky.” You don’t “get laid.”
To be consistently successful, your whole being needs to be aligned with the belief, the expectation, that you’re successful with women. Again, it’s all about changing your beliefs….
There’s a hidden psychology that 99.99% of men in the world never even know exists. The map of interaction is composed of four phases: attraction, rapport, seduction and a relationship balance. Humans naturally go through these stages with everyone they meet (though, of course, when you meet a guy, you’re going to skip seduction!) You can skip any step you want, but doing so will have consequences.
- So show a woman how valuable you are (yes you are, remember – you changed your beliefs about yourself so that’s exactly how are, and how you come across)
- Strike up and maintain a conversation with woman which makes her see you as a man worth “chasing”
- Give a woman the chance to feel worthy of meeting you
- Strike up rapport in a gradual way so that it’s completely natural and real
- Keep the relationship going smoothly and happily
These deserve a mention of their own. Seduction isn’t nearly as complicated or as magical as most guys seem to think it is.
Successful seduction requires the right level of trust.
Trust requires a woman to feel emotionally engaged. And successful seduction requires her to feel some attraction. As you know, attraction depends on how confident and powerful you seem to her (we’re back to your self-beliefs again).
You get “Relationship Balance” when four major factors intertwine to make a relationship comfortable and suited to you and the woman:
- power or leadership
And you can influence exactly what happens in a relationship by deliberately changing all or any of these factors about yourself. Is this manipulative? NO, definitely not. It’s really about establishing harmony through conscious choice.
This is something that keeps a relationship working, not something that manipulates it for your own advantage.
And the great thing is you don’t constantly have to think about it. All you need is to have an awareness of these factors so that you can see the bigger picture.
This means no matter what stage of a relationship you’re at, you can figure out where you are and what to do next. That gives you the power to move from one stage of the relationship to the next and to escalate it so that it constantly moves forward. In this way, nothing is “lucky” or by chance.
Everything that happens will be by your design; you’ll have complete control over your interactions with women.
All this will make you more successful with women than you ever thought possible!